The donkey that will be carrying my sorry arse.
‘The Slap’ is a book my mother once read about a father that slaps a child (not his own) for misbehaving. It’s a story that thoroughly explores the morality of using violence to punish a child. The Trip, which is my story, is similar except the story is about punishing an adult, on a bicycle, and it explores insanity rather than morality. Both are grandiose tales of small life events.
The Trip hasn’t actually happened yet. It will though and it will be brutal, violent and unforgiving. The Trip will be all this because it will be done on bicycle by a horribly unfit and underprepared man – me! This, when combined with my rudimentary knowledge of bicycle mechanics and terrible map reading skills, leaves the door of failure widely ajar. To make matters worse I will be cycling in the frosty chills of winter and for the most part up and down mountains.
I must be honest and say that I have done the bare minimum of planning for The Trip. I know roughly the route I want to take and my ‘research’ on crazyguyonabike.com tells me that I should avoid the ‘G’ roads (highways) where possible. Google maps have been instrumental in planning the route and helping me to avoid the dreaded G roads. The Trip will be approximately 700km and will wind its way from Hangzhou around the Xin’anjiang Reservoir and then across to Tunxi and Shexian in Anhui Province. I plan to complete it in 9 days and allowing one of those days for rest.
Getting back to my lack of planning, there’s that old cliché that goes something like, ‘failing to plan is planning to fail’. While I believe there is a chunk of truth to this statement, it can also prevent people from picking their sorry arse up and starting something new and exciting. I mean if I was to wait until I was fully prepared for The Trip it would most likely not happen. Months of dieting, training and reading up on bicycle mechanics is pretty low on my priorities list and requires far more dedication than I currently possess. It might be insane but I figure it is best to just go for it and hope for the best!
For those of you who are interested in doing something like this, I highly recommend crazyguyonabike.com. The website is brimming with stories of people who have just gone ‘you know what stuff it! I’m taking 6 months off work and cycling across the world’. Quite a lot of those people are older, fatter and less prepared than me. This is greatly reassuring. Honestly, their stories are amazing and have been a huge inspiration for my trip.
On a final note, cycle touring is a fantastic way to put your troubles behind you while traveling through potentially beautiful places. It is also far cheaper than more traditional means of travel and you have the added benefit of getting fit while you do it!
Grumbles China 